Typically, we would talk about safety and awareness tips to keep you safe when traveling. The common sense things, like research where you are going, don’t put all your financial eggs in one basket, know the local resources in case of an emergency and stay clear of the Coronavirus.
This is not that type of article.
This is straight up, 100% the goofy shit you see and experience while traveling.
There are clearly two types of people who travel at airports.
The first type is the person who believes air travel is a formal affair. Dressed to the hilt, they look like they are on their way to a wedding or Sunday church. They take 20 minutes to go through TSA because they have so much stuff to take off. The second type is the person who travels in “comfort.” They have no metal, string or laces on any part of their clothing. They are basically wearing one step above pajamas. And sometimes, well, they are wearing pajamas.
And then there is the fifty-something year old lady who is under the influence of some sort of substance who believes they are the reincarnation of the Macho Man Randy Savage.
How about the experience of sitting next to the person in the packed Gate E-3 area who feels the need to call every single member of their family before they board? You know, the one who talks loud enough for everyone in the terminal to hear him? I too feel your pain that the fish tacos you ate last night did not agree with you and you have been taking regular doses of Imodium AD to help with your irregularities. And I pray your sinuses to return to normal once you arrive home to Cleveland.
For those of you traveling with small, mobile kids, it will suck.
For every additional small kid you travel with, the suck-ness multiplies by 10x.
Enough said.
Women who can completely change their wardrobe in a bathroom stall amaze me. Kudos to you all.
I also envy the “Weekend at Bernie’s” look a-like guy. The one who is seated next to you with: knit hat on, headphones on, hoody pulled over his head, sunglasses on, rocking out the official airplane neck pillow. He is out before the plane takes off. He does not awaken from his slumber until you are getting your bags out from the overhead bin after landing. I salute you Sir.
Speaking of carry-on luggage and overhead storage, if you have to beat your luggage like Mike Tyson on a heavy bag, check that shit. Seriously.
Despite all of this, it is good to get away once in a while. It’s good to recharge your batteries and take a break from the daily grind. We live in the day and age where you can plan a trip with nothing other than your phone and be on the other side of the world within a day. And that my friends, is pretty amazing.
Paul Beasinger
Keene Training and Consulting L.L.C.