Keene Notes – July 2020
Almost thirty ago, a man by the name of Dr. George Thompson coined the concept of verbal judo and spoke about the 5 fundamentals truths of human interaction. We touch on these concepts in our courses. Let us explore them…
- People feel the need to be respected.
Race, religion, socio-economic status, place in the organizational hierarchy. It does not matter. All people want to be respected. Whether you give it to get it back, or give it unconditionally until someone proves they do not deserve it is irrelevant. But make not mistake. It is the cornerstone in which everything else is built. Build a weak foundation and the house will crumble.
- People would rather be asked than be told.
Anyone who has raised kids knows about this one. Adults are no different. Outside of the military, give an order to an adult and it will be met with distain. Ask them to help with a task, and you are more likely to get compliance. It’s making them part of the solution. And it makes you come across less like an asshole.
- People have a desire to know why.
Such a simple concept. But usually the one we screw up the most. Most of the time when people complain, it’s because they don’t have the proper information. They don’t know the process. They don’t understand the reasoning behind something. Tell them. Explain the process upfront. Humans are inquisitive by nature. Feed this trait on the front end of the conversation and you will see things sometimes work themselves out
- People prefer options to threats.
Threaten someone and they will become defensive. It’s built into our DNA. By giving someone options, an individual feels as if they have some control over their destiny. And at the end of the day, that’s what we all want. A sense of control and security.
- People want a second chance.
We are all humans. We all make mistakes. Show me someone who claims they have never made a mistake and I will show you someone who is:
1. A liar
2. Someone who never risked anything… ever.
If someone gets pissed (maybe because they didn’t know why or maybe because they were disrespected) they deserved the opportunity to say, “My bad. Give me another chance.”
While we are at it:
Take a breath.
Try not to offend.
Try harder not to be offended.
Outrage is a sign of weakness. It means you have lost control.
Until next time…
Paul Beasinger
Keene Training and Consulting L.L.C.